The Dogs Days of Autumn
Ahh!!! - The Dog Days of Summer
That reminds me of the soon to come - but never soon enough - Dog Days of Autumn, which in turn reminds me that is never too early to begin planning for Bird Camp.
First some basic drills to get that bird dog ready for camp:
1. Set up a Beer Can Slalom course to help with agility both in camp and in the field. Tipping over a full beer can is really the only unforgivable social plunder that your dog might commit in camp, short of taking a dump in the fire ring. Which brings me to the next drill,
2. the Bacon Grease Lick. Lets face it, the collateral damage caused by a batch of Super Colon Blow can set your dog back on his haunches, and you’re not going to get many birds if you both have to assume the position out there at the same time. Be considerate, start throwing bacon grease out in your front yard now!
3. And finally, a little drill I like to call the Nudge Nudge Wink Wink. This is really a drill for both of you. By the morning of the second day, you’ll both be waking with snot in your eyes. You will probably use a variation of the standard Hot Coffee Wake Up Method to free yourself from the affects of your slumber and activities proceeding the same. Your dog will likely use the Elbow In The Eye Method. Dogs know that if they dig their eye socket into your elbow, they are likely to get a adequate eye snot wipe, but if they combine the two wake up methods, the results will be superior. Its really just a matter of leverage. Let me try to explain it from the dog’s point of view. First the dog spies a cup of piping hot coffee and begins a stealthy approach from behind, timing his arrival to coincide precisely with your first tentative sip of coffee. And here is where the leverage part comes in. The dog knows that if he makes contact at the exact time you are testing the coffee temperature, he will get all the leverage he needs as you spasmodically jerk back in response the scalding hot coffee now making contact with your face and crotch. You should practice this maneuver until you can do it without requiring a change of clothes or blister ointment. If you don’t have a dog to practice with, I can loan you a 4 year boy who does the same thing.
On to the Practical Matters:
When: The critical timing involved was discussed in much detail last year. See the archives regarding the optimal beer drinking temperature (BDT) and beer consumption interval (BSI). The second weekend of October is optimal, give or take a week. Let me know of any conflicts we may need to work around.
Where: Pappy’s Cabin has been the location of choice in recent years, and for good reason. However, the question remains of whether we would like to return to our more rustic roots. Let me know what you think about a middle of no where camp, perhaps close enough to the cabin so that we could sound a retreat if the weather sucks (again).
What: to do with all those woodcock. Yeh Yeh, I know, the French consider them a delicacy, but consider the source. They also like snails and chicks with arm pit hair! I found a Recipe for venison that we may be able to reverse engineer into a decent woodcock preparation. Again, feel free to make suggestions of your own.
Anyway, let me know of any conflicts/preferences as the next e-mail you receive will be to cast the plans in stone.
Rob
That reminds me of the soon to come - but never soon enough - Dog Days of Autumn, which in turn reminds me that is never too early to begin planning for Bird Camp.
First some basic drills to get that bird dog ready for camp:
1. Set up a Beer Can Slalom course to help with agility both in camp and in the field. Tipping over a full beer can is really the only unforgivable social plunder that your dog might commit in camp, short of taking a dump in the fire ring. Which brings me to the next drill,
2. the Bacon Grease Lick. Lets face it, the collateral damage caused by a batch of Super Colon Blow can set your dog back on his haunches, and you’re not going to get many birds if you both have to assume the position out there at the same time. Be considerate, start throwing bacon grease out in your front yard now!
3. And finally, a little drill I like to call the Nudge Nudge Wink Wink. This is really a drill for both of you. By the morning of the second day, you’ll both be waking with snot in your eyes. You will probably use a variation of the standard Hot Coffee Wake Up Method to free yourself from the affects of your slumber and activities proceeding the same. Your dog will likely use the Elbow In The Eye Method. Dogs know that if they dig their eye socket into your elbow, they are likely to get a adequate eye snot wipe, but if they combine the two wake up methods, the results will be superior. Its really just a matter of leverage. Let me try to explain it from the dog’s point of view. First the dog spies a cup of piping hot coffee and begins a stealthy approach from behind, timing his arrival to coincide precisely with your first tentative sip of coffee. And here is where the leverage part comes in. The dog knows that if he makes contact at the exact time you are testing the coffee temperature, he will get all the leverage he needs as you spasmodically jerk back in response the scalding hot coffee now making contact with your face and crotch. You should practice this maneuver until you can do it without requiring a change of clothes or blister ointment. If you don’t have a dog to practice with, I can loan you a 4 year boy who does the same thing.
On to the Practical Matters:
When: The critical timing involved was discussed in much detail last year. See the archives regarding the optimal beer drinking temperature (BDT) and beer consumption interval (BSI). The second weekend of October is optimal, give or take a week. Let me know of any conflicts we may need to work around.
Where: Pappy’s Cabin has been the location of choice in recent years, and for good reason. However, the question remains of whether we would like to return to our more rustic roots. Let me know what you think about a middle of no where camp, perhaps close enough to the cabin so that we could sound a retreat if the weather sucks (again).
What: to do with all those woodcock. Yeh Yeh, I know, the French consider them a delicacy, but consider the source. They also like snails and chicks with arm pit hair! I found a Recipe for venison that we may be able to reverse engineer into a decent woodcock preparation. Again, feel free to make suggestions of your own.
Anyway, let me know of any conflicts/preferences as the next e-mail you receive will be to cast the plans in stone.
Rob
posted by Buck Shot at 6:10 PM
2 Comments:
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Do you expect me to bring a gun??
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